He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
