I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
