The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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