Christians are straight up FREAKS
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
