Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
