I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
