i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
