oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
