I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
