Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
