OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
