yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
