Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
