just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
