Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
the condom got lost in my hair
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
