matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize