why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
