just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
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