i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
