So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
