oh god the rape fog is back!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
