my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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