am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Randomize
