DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
