My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
