im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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