Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
