WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
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