"it" just moved
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
