I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
