Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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