Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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