Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i wish my penis had a tongue
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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