butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
