my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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