You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
