someone threw a dead crab at me
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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