Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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