24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
