I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
