so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
