She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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