I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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