yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
