Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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