we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
