I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
