That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
