So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
