I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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