im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
