Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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