Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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