Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
