marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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