I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
