very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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