It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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