I hate all girls vehemently.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
