you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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