So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
