Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
