Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
