absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she told me i tasted like america
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
