Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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